The attachment theory allows me to hold firmly to what some believe to be two contradicting models: Scripture and Emotionally Focused Therapy. Sure, EFT is not the Bible. I rely on the Bible to be reminded of my most secure attachment I’ll ever have – with my Lord and Savior. I rely on EFT to be a mirror to couples as they experience their drive toward secure attachment on earth – the safety and comfort of knowing you have one person that is always and forever “for you.” My prayer is that when people experience it on earth (especially those who aren’t believers in Christ), their eyes will be opened to divine attachment.
We had it, you know. Adam and Eve had it with each other, and with God. They were unashamed – nothing to hide. Naked and free, they experienced the very thing you and I strive for every day. After the fall, our relationships forever changed. We have the promise of it again in heaven, but bear the weight of the “not yet” on this earth. I don’t know about you – but those are some of my darkest moments. The realization that my best experience here just can’t be held too tightly…I quickly slip into disappointment. Not because my husband is disappointing, or that I am – it’s simply because our search continues.
I’m thankful that God gives us a glimpse of what’s to come. In my experience, the more we let go of our relationships – the stronger they become. Just know that during your fight for closeness (in whatever way you choose to fight…painful ways, passive ways or downright aggressive ways) – you’re doing it for good reason. God put it there. Your desire is ultimately to get back to the garden.